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I Remember

 


I can’t remember


I can’t remember praying for him or my journey.

I can’t remember praying for an excellent service but I remember making a request.

My spirit must have said a quick prayer to the Holy Ghost reminding him of my lack of desire to suffer this year.


There were cries and pledges and requests made to my Heavenly Father in January 2022.

I wiped my tears fast. The days in January became short as soon as I stopped wallowing in my situation like Hannah.


Then My Father in Heaven hastened my days in February.

As usual, He’d seen me enter a pit, I dug for myself the previous month and held me close as I struggled with letting Him work while I rested.

I was nearly disgraced but He didn’t allow it.

Instead, He let my light shine.

He surprised me and my listeners with the words of my mouth and the work of my hands.


He gave me glorious days in March.

I recounted many levels I’d skipped

And just when I got drunk on the levels and His ability to hold me when I fall, I got a caution.

A still small voice telling me; S T O P, S T A Y.


He didn’t call to confirm.

He said yes to all my demands: that’s how you know God sent them.

He waited patiently for me when I got to my destination to bring me back to my preferred abode that evening.


I remember laughing with him as I shared a Marry Me that I’m reluctant to make public.

He wanted to know who and which denomination.

He wanted to fight for me.

Even his beards didn’t turn me off.

I loved that he told me he’s very single.

Loved how he prayed they won’t collect the household item I wanted to send home.

He wanted to buy it.


He was also attracted.

He insisted I stay indoors until the person came to collect the item.

He wanted to protect me from “more trauma”

This was after saying I should experience more trauma to heal so I can be unaffected by terrible events.

He got out and waited for me to ask for help in negotiating.


I really love smart and intelligent men.

There are still very good men out there.

Good people who help not for what they want in exchange.

God must be hiding them from me 

He occasionally releases them to ensure that I value them.



Sent from my iPhone


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