Jane Chima

Why do we have relationships? Ideas anyone? To cure loneliness? Safety? Is it because we feel we have attained a certain age we don't want or have to stay alone? I have been wondering about this  but I've been left with an empty feeling in my stomach, you kow that feeling you have as you are the only one in the planet. It's not flattering to be the only girl (I think) who turns married men away. I'm not talking about unserious or irresponsible ones but self-made, serious ones. It's not a new thing for a young girl like me but can be seen as a misuse of opportunities for people more experienced than me. At a point in one's life, you need a companion, you need somebody u can call ur own, you need a friend who is not just a friend, but a soul mate. I agree to all these points made by by on-line friend, Surya but what happens when it fails? What happens if that spark in your relationships fades and dies? what would you do? Look for another spark or try to...

Hey!!! It feels good to be back, if I should say so since it's more than a month from my last post. So many things can and has happened within that time that I may not be able to tell. I have to admit that it's been a great, great time. A great learning stage for me. it's true what they say that you don't know how strong you are until u face a challenge. I have seen that and I have to say that it's been a disappointment to me to find out that I'm not as strong as I thought myself to be. Though, I further surprised myself by holding on to what I felt was right. I wanted my Easter holiday to be my time for sober reflection. A time I get to go far, far away from everything, everyone that knows me. Just to leave my world. Believe me that world can be tiring most times. Not for the first time(if ya'all could know) have I felt that way, but this time I knew I was just a little step between sanity and insanity. I just needed a break I knew was not to come, yet. Th...

Two weeks ago, I was going through my profile in one of my numerous social websites, when I came accross an information that would become a bomb, literally speaking, in the entertainment industry; Genevieve is dating D'banj, D'banj confirms it! What?!! was my first thought. these journalist are at "it" again writing so they can make a few bucks. How could someone publish such rubbish? It can't be true. Salt and oil can't mix or so I thought. A week later when Genevieve was asked to confirm the news she neither confirmed nor denied the claim made by D'banj. She was quoted by Encomium magazine  saying: "I can only say that I would like to keep my private life private and I really don't have anything to say" and "Dbanj is an adult and he has said something. Let's just leave it at that, " Surely, we  your loyal fans deserve some answers, Genevieve. We don't mean to pry into your private affairs but we care for yo...

Have you ever wondered if the decisions you're about to take is right or wrong? That's exactly how I'm feeling right now. It feels like being snared in a trapped not knowing which way to go, right or left. I'm counting down to the day I'll finally say goodbye to having a job. I have a wonderful job which I'm about to drop.So far, it hasn't been easy a decision to make. I had to use the paper, pen and ruler method, weighing the advantages and disadvantages. From where I stood a few weeks ago, it was clear, now it's not too clear. I can't help thinking if I'm about to take one of the best or worst decisions of my life.  While deciding, it turned out the positives of this change overshadowed the negatives. So here I am, 15 days to having no job and being a business woman. I just updated my status on facebook about being unique and different. Let me ask a question. How many twenty two year female Nigerians lives in lagos, has no "big daddy...

Was bored last afternoon, so I decided to join a yahoo chat room. Signing in to yahoo messenger took me no time at all. Ignoring my offline messages, I went straight to Yahoo Messenger joining, the 20's chat room but was dumbfounded by what I saw: "Honey women see me live on my webcam"    and            " how to find free sex online" Eyes poppingI left the room immediately. Checking other rooms I found the same results. Eeeeeeh, where can I find Tru talk without sex? I wondered. Guys and girls wanting to be laid are everywhere. I don't want to be laid, I fumed, I just want to talk. Just talk. I remembered an experience I won't easily forget. Late last year I met someone online. I'll call him Rob, a Nigerian. I felt lucky we'd talk on phone and online. We talked about everything. Then out of the blue he wanted sex online or on phone. I was disappointed. To cut the story short, we decided not t...

I enjoy Facebook totally. I mean it's a friend I may never have. I can share my thoughts and opinions whether it makes sense or not. Before I joined, I always wondered what it was like and I would look at the users and wonder what would make them spend hours on end on that particular social website. I called it a waste of time and money. Then I was tempted into registering having no idea what I was getting myself into. I must admit that I've come to find succour in that social networking site. If am pissed, happy and sad I can share it with people who don't know me from Adam, but may feel the same way I feel and tell me what to do about it. I know there are big risks involved in giving your private information to people you barely know but it pales in comparison to the positivity of meeting people online who share the same values, beliefs, aspirations, feelings and hopes that you have. Opinions vary on facebook.Some may see it as an avenue for defraudin...

http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-34-ways-to-say-i-love-you-without-actually-saying-i-love-you/?iref=spotl

Ever watched a Bollywood movie before? No? Then you need to start watching them because it is  the hottest movie industry in town now especially in Nigeria. Apart from the fact that it teaches moral values and lessons in love, it also show cases Indian cultures and traditions. Bollywood movies to me, are inspiring. The term, Bollywood, is an informal term popularly used for the Hindi-language film industry based in Mumbai, India. Bollywood industry is just a part of the indian cinema but it is often incorrectly used to refer to all the movie industries in India. It is the largest film producer in India. Unlike Hollywood, Bollywood doesn't exist as a physical place. Actors like Amitabh Bachchan, Sunny Deol, Shah Rukh Khan (nicknamed King Khan), etc, have made earned worldwide accolades for their roles in popular bollywood movies like Khabi Khushi Khabi gham, Mother India and Deewana respectively. In Nigeria, barely can you find a home or cinema without Bollywood...

http://www.momlogic.com/2010/02/valentines_day_aftermath.php Being Single is one of the best thing that has ever happened to us. It is a time you think and feel only you. You have more time for yourself,  time to set priorities, create and achieve goals and objectives.  Unfortunately, many females to do not agree with this fact. We are always in a hurry to get married because; My clock is ticking My mates are already married   Indeed my Mom reminds of my single status most times that I'd begin to wonder if it's a a crime or my wish to remain single. Whichever reasons we may have, it is important to note that being single doesn't mean being lonely. It is not a crime but is it by choice. It means freedom, making your own decisions at your own time, space and risk. No inhibitions. Opportunities abound that you can only grasp by being a single person so here are tips to enjoying your singlehood; Making tim...

February 1, 2009, will always remain in my memory. It was my second time of being in Songhai Porto- novo. The first time I went to Porto-Novo was in August 2008. I worked then as an assistant with Tell. Assistants in Tell do a bit of everything, still I was dumbfoundded when I was told I would be going with the Corporate Affairs department down to Porto-Novo. I couldn't really relish it because it was unbelievable and painfull at the same time. Unbelievable because I didn't feel worthy enough to have gone, painful because my colleagues weren't too happy with me going thereby giving me silent treatment. So when I was picked the second time, I left all my cares in the wind. That day in February was and would be always stick in my memory. I met personalities made friends with them and even had a few suitors. It was memorable. I understood nature and people. My superior who I assisted, taught me so many things I'd never forget and i'll forever be grateful for. The p...

What do I want? This has been the question bothering me this week. How can I be myself? How do I know myself.  How do I know what I want. I googled it and came across interesting things. For someone like me I  realised that the main problem we face is that we don't know what we want from life which is why when it comes to making decisions, we flop.  Wobbling in indecisions we jump at any opportunities that comes our way. This can be quite disastrous because any decisions we make today affects our tommorrow. Here a few tips: The first step to take to knowing what you want is Finding yourself. Finding yourself means knowing who you are, your likes, what you can do. It also means knowing knowing your limitations, strengths and weaknesses, hereby making your confidence in yourself grow. Start with a new and clean slate. Put God first . Apart from being our creator, God has been the Author and Finisher o...

That's me in my office, last friday, two days before Val. Looking at this picture,  it appears I have no worries or cares in the world.  This year's Valentine found me in one of my friends home.Right from my teenage years, I've been attached to couples and their kids. I must admit that I learned alot doing this. You get experience from experiences. I wanted to have a unique valentine this year and out of a lot of choices I decided to spend it, even if it's a couple of hours, with a family I've known for a long time. It had been approximately four years since i last saw them, so I decided on that fateful day, February 13, 2010 to pay a visit to them. As I prepared to go to their home in Captain, Abulegba, I had a flash back;  Seven years ago, a set of twins was born to the family of Daniel Odeh and barely two months later, I got to know them through one of my Mom's friends. I also knew they needed help taking care of ...

I met a special friend on Yahoo and while we were chatting, I asked him about his own definition and understanding of a marriage. Hear what he said;  "Man is a social animal. He or she can't survive that much easy alone so they need emotional or financial support to survive in the world. If two people get married it means they need to support each other emotionally or financially  or both if there's no support also if they stick together thats called a good marriage, but if they start non support and plotting against each other is called hell hell of a marriage " He went further to say that marriage is compared to life. A  successful marriage is compared to heaven, that the ingredient to a successful marriage or steps to successfull marriage is LOVE(divine). It should be between couples who are bonded.    May be LOVE should bond them to marriage or marriage should bond them to LOV...

Hope is believing there's a tomorrow. Faith is believing something wil happen without you seeing it.I may not know what tommorrow will be like and I don't care about it. All I know is that everything is going to be okay. Wikpaedia defines Hope as "a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. Every time something happens to me, both good and bad all I can do is hope for the best.Knowing that there's a better tommorrow keeps me going on today. And it's all I think about. But then I remember that there are people who actually have no hope, Who don't know where their next meal is going to come from,who have no roofs over their heads. I also remember the Haitians....Lord those babies buried under the rubbles, men, women and children with no home nor hope and I hate myself and ask myself questions......Why do I think about onl...

Which one is better? What do I do? Those were the questions buzzing in my head  as I woke up this morning.  I got home early last evening to watch the Super Eagles' match against the Black Mambas of Mozambique. The minute I dropped my bag, I dived for the remote of the T.V, trying to tune in to AIT(Africa Independent Television)  which would show the match only to be dissapointed. The remote wouldn't work. My younger sister dropped a bomb on me. My mother's travelling down to the east finally in June. This year June? I asked and she said yes. Wow.  She's finally going home to take care of her mom. She also wants me to take over her shop. My mom's the epitome of humanhood. I think I should devote a blog to her. Her mom's my name sake. That's where I got my traditional name from. She was moved from her home in Ohaozara, Ebonyi state to the capital of the state, Abakaliki. I remember vividly the twelve days I spent with her. They were...

Hmmn, my fantasies are endless. First on my list is a complete man. Knowing that I may have my own Mr. Perfect one day keeps my day bright and positive.I agree with Jaine and the girls with their List; which cost two of them their lives. Whenever i close my eyes, I tend to daydream about "him". Where he is, what he is doing and how we might meet.Will there be fireworks? Will my heart double its beats?. Will my head sing? It goes on and on. The tot alone that I'd meet him someday, somehow makes keeps my troubles at bay. We all want someone we can rely on. I think thats where 'Dependable" from the list comes in. Whenever there's a rain or shine I'd love to be able to say my man is there. He'll be know what to do.  Or say I know him well, in and out and he knows me as well.He knows I am "faithfull" to him he has pledged to be "faithful" to me,"to love and cherish me untill death do us path" and am not dissapointed. ...

Three nights ago, my sister,Adanna, brought home a book(this happens like one out of every hundreds). It was a novel by Linda Howard titled "Mr. perfect". Being a lover of all kinds of books fiction or not, I've never liked missing out on any book I see; old and new. Looking  at the torn form that night, I wasn't sure it would be interesting. My sis held onto that book for two days. I wasn't that bothered 'cos I had a Danielle Steel with me which was later collected by a colleague who is the owner. As I dragged my weary self back from school last evening, all I thought was getting a well deserved rest. Our test was next week and lecturers were driving us insane with assignments, and what nots. I made sure I ironed the clothes I would wear to work this week so I wouldn't have to worry about what ladies worry about;power failures, the 'what or what not to wear' or 'what goes with what'. My siblings were watching '...

My best friend got married last year and a few months later she gave birth and I thought; that's how a marriage should be. U know filled with Love, Trust, Friendship, laughter and children. This isn't back in the day and they accepted themselves as they are. They are young, cute and all.  When I look at married couples today, the thought of marriage flees with alarming speed from my mind. Because I thought it is the end of all struggles of life. Looking at the Bible's perspective which i respect alot, It says in Gen 2 vs 24 "a man shall therefore leave his father and mother and is joined to his wife to become one" It also goes further to say that "what God as joined together,let noman put asunder" People are easily forgetting that. We ladies forget that whichever choices we make, we have to live with it for the rest of our lives , remember the phrase 'for better for worse'? Even if he commits adultery, he is your choice. I feel bad when i he...

On my way home from work yester-evening, guess who I saw? Michael; my once upon a time "boyfriend" I've had a crush on him for years b4 he asked me out.And when he did I started believing in dreams. He's a cute guy. Must admit atleast that. He's also, I believe closer to God than others are, which i like more than anything in a man. Another is that he's close and respectful to his mom; another feather. But I found that we aren't operating on the same levels. When I'm with him I feel disconnected from him. We make up and break up everytime which is normal for every relationship, but we don't understand ourselves. He thinks am a snob. And I think he wants to use me. And yet we feel drawn somehow to ourselves. We met almost a decade ago, when I was still living with my cousin. He used to come around that area to see his friends. The first time he asked me out or rather asked me to be his girlfriend I was flattered but i turned him down telling h...

 01-01-10 dawned bright and clear. Guess what? It's a new year. A new decade. The much anticipated year  . A year i'd have to pursue my dream course in a university finally!  Following history, holidays have always found me either being mad @ one of my sisters or one of my parents. Am usually not one for holidays. I don't really know why but every time it's close to the xmas and new year celebrations , am always in a bad mood. When am supposed to be celebrating. It may be that I felt no reason for celebration. So on this new day of this new year and decade, I shook off that feeling. This was new and am gonna make the most of it. I started the decade with a new   hairdo, unique manicure and ofcourse went back to sleep. I remembered the candlelight night @ Canaanland, where Papa talked about this year, how it's going to be a year of retoration of all those things that we have been dispossesed of. I told mysel...